Happiness Found Within

My oldest son just mailed off his ‘Doodle 4 Google’ drawing.  The theme for this year is: ‘If I Could Invent One Thing to Make the World a Better Place…’  here’s the website:

http://www.google.com/doodle4google/

His idea for submission is a ‘Judgement Free Zone’.  Judgement free.  That took me back a bit.  I would assume that he would come up with a better eco-friendly car, or other teenage boy stuff….but to be as deep as a judgement free zone…WOW!

In his drawing it shows a guy walking away from being called names, derogatory comments and insults while carrying his rainbow flag.  As the guy was walking away, it shows him with a sad face, then a blank face, and then a happy face when he sees a girl holding a heart under a green awning with the words:  NO JUDGEMENT ZONE.  I asked him ‘so, this is a gay kid?’.  He said, ‘well it can actually be anyone, but since there is so much attention on gay people right now, I used that.’  I was impressed. The thing that he thinks is needed more than anything to make the world a better place, is a world that is judgement free.  Not just for gay people, but for everyone because judgement holds no discrimination on whom it is for.  And you know what? He is right.

How many times do you judge people?  It could be towards anyone. Maybe someone walking down the street or maybe our Facebook friends or even our family members.

I’ll be the first to admit that I am guilty of this.  I have been trying to focus on not being judgmental during the past year…even before my son drew this picture. Maybe that is what surprised me the most about it, because it’s something close to my heart.

I found that I am not as judgmental against others as I use to be. I have been catching myself when I am doing it.  That’s the first step.  As I have been catching myself more, I have found that I am doing is less and less. I am nowhere close to being where I want to be with it.  I work on this because I want to be the best me that I can be.  I pray many times for God to help me not to be judgmental or days that I am struggling with it.  I trust in His help.

To quote Mother Teresa, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”  That’s what I want for my life.  Do you?

“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.”  Matthew 7:1-2

There are many times that I question what does God have in store for me. Why am I on this path that He has laid out for me? I am waiting for that ‘Aha’ moment. The moment I can say – so that is what He wanted me to do. Someday it will all make sense.

This picture was taken at sunset while picking up the kids from their normal daily activities. The colors were so beautiful that I felt compelled to take a picture of it. These clouds that caused this beautiful sunset stretched from Hurricane Sandy…all the way to northern Indiana. Even in the midst of a horrible event on the east coast, there was also beauty from it.

Here’s a verse that I like and needed for myself today:

‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.’ – Philippians 4:6-7

So many times I look in the mirror and say, what is wrong with you? Why are you like this? Why can’t you just wake up and be happy? Why are you broken?

Everyday is a battle. Who will win? Happiness? Sadness? Depression? Anxiety? Sometimes all it takes is one person making an off the cuff remark or maybe an old memory that creeps back up, and that can set the tone to my day. Even if I fight against it, sometimes the bad day wins.

What I am deciding is to not let a bad day today determine my tomorrow. I know that I am a little broken and only I can put the pieces back together. So tomorrow I will pick myself up, dust myself off and start the day fresh. I choose to feel happy. I deserve it.

Choosing to be happy is not selfish…it’s soul food. We have to replenish our souls when they become depleted or defeated. This is the remedy for the sadness.

When is the last time you fed your soul with the pure joy of happiness? Maybe it’s time to start. I am.

How much wasted energy do we spend on this list?  Feeling mad, sad, holding regret, looking back, anxiety, depression, being unkind, and/or holding hatred?

All of these feelings drain so much energy.  By holding on to these, it creates the negativity inside of you.  This negativity becomes the cancer that invades your happiness.

In order to begin your happiness journey you have to learn to let these go.  It’s not an easy feat.  Start one at a time.  Some days when you think you have gotten rid of that feeling, it can creep it’s ugly head back.  You will have to squash it and work on getting rid of it again.  It will be a life battle, but as you learn to control it, it becomes easier and easier to manage.

For me, I struggle with forgiveness.  Some days I’m ok, then other days I get mad again and have to remember to forgive.  Forgiveness is one of my energy suckers.  I have many, but this one creeps back up on me again and again.  It comes from the anger I hold towards my biological father.  For him being absent in my sister’s life and my life.  For not helping support us when we were kids.  For the way that everything else was more important than us.  For the way he treated us as kids.  When I feel that anger creeping up again, I have to remember to forgive.  And the act of forgiveness is for me.   It helps clear places in my heart so I can fill it with love.

1 Kings 8:50 states ‘And forgive your people, who have sinned against you; forgive all the offenses they have committed against you…’.  Daily work.

God does not want us to hold on to any of these energy suckers.  He wants us live life to the fullest and fill our selves with His love.  Once you get rid of one of the energy suckers, replace that with God’s love.  Just ask Him to fill your heart where you made an opening.  Make it apart of your daily prayer and ask Him to stay filled in those holes.

If you want to be happy and feel happy, do not let this list of energy suckers control your life. YOU are the only one that can change it.  You owe that to yourself.

Life IS far too short to live in negativity.  Everyday IS a new day.  So start today.  🙂

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