Happiness Found Within

I hate New Year’s resolutions.  No one ever follows thru with them.  Well maybe some people do.  But this year I decided to make a couple…

1. Financially get it together.  We have had too many mishaps and many misfortunes this past year.   We lost $29,000 on our house in Indiana.   All of our profits.  We had to get rid of the house and had to keep dropping the price….for a loss.  We were struggling making both rent and mortgage payment after the move.  It was the equivalent of 3 house payments because housing is so much more expensive in Seattle.  Money we counted on.  Gone…

Because of the move we racked up the credit cards and we were planning on paying them off with the profits of the house.  So, now we are doing our best to make the payments and work on a solid financial plan for our family.

We have one kid starting college this fall and another next fall.   Their father has shown no interest in helping to pay for any of their college costs, so it will fall all on Jon and myself.   Ouch.

Let’s just say, I was SO glad 2013 was over.  It was a financial nightmare for us.  But we are survivors.

Financial Peace University here we come.  Look into it.  By Dave Ramsey.  You’ll thank yourself.

http://www.daveramsey.com/get-started/

2. I’m going to get in shape and lose a few pounds. I am TOTALLY being cliché by saying this .  (insert eye roll)  I know this sounds vain, but my 20-year high school reunion is coming up this summer and I want to look better than I look now.  (OMG MY 20-YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION – how am I old enough for this??)

I don’t think I have changed terribly that much.  Most women put on a few pounds.  Especially after having kids.  There are some super hero women that just poof, and they are back to their original body type.  I am not one of those women.

I have tried the P90X the past week, and all I can say is that every muscle in my body hurts.  Ones I didn’t even know I had.

With the stress of moving here, I found comfort in food.  I hope to lose the weight I gained with the stress eating, One day at a time.  I will prevail.

3. The third one I will talk about next in the next blog.

Here’s to a Happy New Year to you and your families.  May it be the best year yet.  I already know this year will be the best.  I have faith that God will help provide what we need…He is always faithful and He will show us the path to take.  He has been placing these 3 resolutions on my heart.  It’s time to follow His plan.

Happiness found within…

It’s an interesting name for a blog, I know.  Yet it is what my soul has been searching for the past year or so.  I have felt compelled to start this blog to chronicle my choices, and struggles that I have and make daily.  Trying to find that inner peace.

There will be stories that I share that are very hard for me to share, but I think it is important to share them.  I have had this feeling on my heart to share, even if it is hard.  I know that there might be something that I am going through or have gone through and that someone needs to read it for herself.  Maybe it’s you.  Just to show that you are not alone.

Everyone keeps telling me…. ‘The first year away from your family is the hardest, especially the first Christmas’.  And they have been right.  There have been many tears shed over this fact. Homesick.

I love it here in Washington.  The scenery looks just like it does in the books…but a 1000% better.  It is just something that has to be seen in person to appreciate it. God is truly awesome.  Awe.

I love that my husband finally has a job that he loves and he is actually excited about.  He has a great boss and good co-workers.  This has been an absolute blessing for him.  It’s been a blessing to us.  Pride.

I love that I was able to land a job right away once we moved here.  I really like the job.  It is different but the same from what I did before.  I can get along with anyone and I have never found anyone that I can’t get along with, yet it has happened.  It has made it hard for me at work.  Mainly because I take everything personally, and I want to do a good job.  I try not to let it get to me, but I am weak right now.  Challenged.

The part that I struggle with the most is that the children are not adjusting well at all.  I feel so guilty that we have uprooted them and moved them to new schools.  I feel worse for my oldest and he is a Senior this year.  He has to jump over obstacles in order to graduate under Washington State graduation standards… which are different and time consuming.  It breaks my heart that he can’t graduate with his buddies back in Indiana.  He says as soon as he graduates, he is out of here.  No more Washington for him. Guilt.

I feel about the same for my daughter who is a Junior this year.  She was in an activity that she loved back at her old high school, andthey do not offer it out here.  This was apart of her identity. This is such a blow to her, and she has gone into a deep depression over it. Her identity is lost. I worry about her.  I want that sparkle back in her eye.   I feel that we took that from her.  Guilt.

We thought the youngest one would be the easiest since he is in 5th grade and would fit in and make friends quickly.  Boy were we wrong.  He has struggled making friends.  The kids in his grade are mean to him and make fun of his ‘accent’.  He has always had a bit of a speech impediment when it comes to the ‘R’ sound.  All of his old classmates loved him for who he was and he had several friends… and now he feels alone.  Guilt. I am hopeful that time will help change this for him.  The past few weeks he has shown promise of a friend in his class.  I am hoping that we can nurture that and start play dates for him.  Hopeful.

There are so many mixed emotions for me this Christmas season.  I feel the guilt that we are not with our families, I feel pain for my kids because they cannot see their friends, my husband who is missing his family…. the list can go on and on.

We are working on making new memories with the family this year.  Since we are in a new place, we are trying new things.  I am hoping this excites the kids and helps with our homesickness.

Happy Birthday Jesus.  May this part of Christmas not be lost over the next few days.